Steven Seagal is a Certified BADASS

It has come to my attention that I must right a wrong or remedy a certain injustice so to speak. This article is in response to the attack on Steven Seagal in the Ninjas vs. Pirates article. It was said and I quote “Although I think a Pirate could make Segal shit his pants and cry in the corner on land, air, or sea. Thats just because Segal is a chode popsicle and you can tell him i said that. Is he dead yet? I dont know he is pretty fucking old”. First, learn how to spell, it is SEAGAL not SEGAL. Second, Steven Seagal would destroy a pirate. Seagal would pull his patented move and gouge out the pirates good eye with his bare hands. The pirate would then proceed to shit his pants and beg for mercy. Seagal shows no mercy, so the pirate would be dead within seconds after a massive karate chop to the throat.

Also, Sir I would bite your tongue when talking trash about Seagal. Have you seen Under Siege? I think not, because that kind of shit would put you in the same boat as the guy who got his adam’s apple ripped out. And to answer your question is Steven Seagal dead? The answer is hell no, Steven Seagal is immortal so he can never die. So if I were you, I wouldn’t want to fuck around with a guy like that. I mean come on, the dude has a seventh degree black belt in aikido and has earned other belts in kendo, karate, and judo. Seagal has hip tossed more mother fuckers than the entire WWE.

I don’t want to knock on JCVD or aka The muscles from Brussels, but if you can say that Jean Claude Van Damme can kick a pirates ass then certainly Seagal can. I mean JCVD studied ballet for god sake, but Seagal is just too much man to do that kind of shit. Steven Seagal is such a badass, that he can even pull off a ponytail. So folks go out there and salute the man who’s films have grossed more than $850 million worldwide. Go watch such films as Above the Law, Out For Justice, Hard to Kill, Under Siege, and Marked for Death, and then try to tell me that Seagal is not a BAMF. So grab some popcorn and enjoy this little clip.



PS- The only flaw in Seagal is his running technique. My theory is that this one flaw is the only reason why he is fat and out of shape today.





T-MONEY
"Don't Start No Shit, There Won't Be No Shit"