Balancing a checkbook is like negotiating peace in Gaza

What's going on, faithful readers? I know that all 3 of you have been dearly waiting for another poop journal update, and guess what, here it is. I realized that I have been reading these without introducing any of the key players in the journal itself. I would change names and stuff, but no one reads this anyway, and there are probably like a hundred thousand Sean Coughlin's in the world, at least. So, here is a brief introduction into the cast of characters that surrounds the poop journal.



K. Jeezy/Kyle joyce/me - I am Kyle Joyce. I grew up in upstate NY, got wait listed at every school I wanted to go to, and went to whichever one my dad wanted me to go to the least. We all went to Emerson for whatever reason, but for me it gave me an opportunity to play college basketball, which was cool. I got to play in games where we were up or down by 30 and usually for like the last 1:30. This is why i love this blog so much. Anyway, I thought I was pretty cool at the time because I had scored a recorded basket in NCAA history. Unfortunately, I couldn't squite see what was really going on.

T. Co./T Chop/Teddy - Teddy is from New Bedford, Massachusetts. If you don't know where that is, pretend you are flexing your biceps. Now your arm is a mini model or cape cod. Where your armpit lays on your body, is where New Bedford lays on a map. Both are really smelly. Anyway, Teddy likes drinking a lot, Boston sports teams, and having sex with as many girls as he can. He is truly setting a new standard for men from New Bedford, a trailblazer, if you will.

Sean Coughlin/Coughleezy - Hollis, NH's most loveable italian. He plays basketball well, graduated with a marketing degree, and wore a soul patch for a long time in college. That should tell you just about all you need to know about Sean, except for his and his brothers nicknames, which are Lord Byron (brother Bryan) and Soon(Sean). And, his mother is a saint.

Alex Gadberry/Gadbeezy - Another Hollis, NH export. Drummer for the band Shipwreck. There is nothing Alex loves more than playing Halo 3 for 7 hours, going to Spike's hot dog's on Mass Ave, and then dancing his face off to top 40 music while everyone else gets drunk enough to pass out or make stupid decisions.

Kevin Klausman/Keveezy/KLK - Kevin is from Maine. He is pretty huge too, and by huge I mean tall. I think he is something like 6'5. Anyway, when the party starts, Keveez is there, ready to take it to another level. He loves zombies, boston hardcore music, and makin movies.

Ben Sloane - My best friend since 7th grade. We both grew up in Rochester, then went to Emerson. Ben used to not drink or do anything bad in High School. Now, he is an actor living in NYC, and regularly does guest spots on this youtube movie review channel that I like. More or less the funniest kid I know.

That is everyone who lived in our 6 person suite from 2005-2006 at Emerson college. However, there was a strong supporting cast of poopers who made there mark on the poop journal. Here they are.

Ryan "Rookie" Koontz - Ryan became friends with us out of a mutual interest of wanting to get drunk and have sex with girls. We happened to live on the no drinking, no drugs floor in Emerson dorms, so it was hard to find others who wanted to do bad things on our floor. Fortunately, god sent us Ryan Koontz.

Josh Jenkins - Maybe the smartest dude we know. I don't know what he is doing now, but I would assume he is either writing a book, or killing people. He too was huge, like 6'5.....he too was from Maine. Weird. Anyway, Jenkins loved playing Halo, rabble-rousing, and having a few sips of the good stuff every now and again. He lived off campus, so we used to have to sign him in to come play Halo for 13 hours a day, but ti was worth it.

Doug Kyed - Slept during the day, played video games and foosball at night. Also, doesn't drink, is in this band, and went to school for free cause his dad worked at the school.

Mike Ford - Only kid I will trust with internet rumors more than wikipedia. Mike Ford is a message board personified. Eats only cream cheese bars and pizza nuggets, while drinking only vitamin water and grape soda. If you want to illegally download some shit, talk to this kid. He hates everyone and everything, but he's not a bad dude.

Jason Nahum - At this time he was the short, fat, funny kid. Later he became the muscly, short, funny kid. A jew from new jersey, Jason was trying to break down walls for Jews everywhere by striving to make it in the entertainment industry. Now he lives in NYC, struggling against the establishment for a break in showbiz.

Dave Stauble/Staubs - Also in a band, and also from Hollis, NH. Dave loves driving pick up trucks, being awesome, and swimming in Rocky Pond. Honestly, I can't blame him. I don't think he really pooped in our bathroom too much, but he was integral to some of the stories.

Matt Moderski/Matty Mo - I don't think Matt ever pooped in our bathroom, but he was pretty sweet, and later became my roommate, which ruled. I don't know what he does now, but I'd like to thank him for introducing me to Motion City Soundtrack, Wolfenstein, and grav bongs. Thank you Matt, wherever you are.