Poo Journal!!!!

I promised it and here it is!!! Click here to watch the video and check out what 6 dudes who lived together for their sophomore year of college thought about while the took poops in their suite!!! 

Also, I have recently re-discovered the most perfect combination of lyrics and music to come together in the last 40 if not 75 years. "Trapped in the Closet: Parts I-XXIV" has got to be, hands down, R. Kelly and R&B's greatest triumph since Michael Jackson was black. You may scoff, but I can and will defend my point against anyone who disagrees. So bring it on, comment and try and tell me that R Kelly isn't a musical genius. 

The picture above is a perfect example of why you should never do anything just to make a girl happy. Here I am faux-fornicating with a good male friend of mine merely to please the sick and twisted fantasy of a female friend of mine. These types of things, including, but not limited to: wearing a woman's underwear in front of them, getting naked in cold weather, cooking and cleaning, and buying jewelry, should be avoided at all times. Believe me, I used to think that the fact that you would squish your D and N's into leopard print, size XS panties would be enough to make a girl fall in love with you. Well friends, it is not. Not only will that girl most likely laugh at your D and point at your N's hanging out of the side of their skimpy butt covers, she will also slide you deeper and deeper into the friend zone. Getting out of the friend zone is tough, and I wrote that whole paragraph just to re-enforce the fact that trying to cheer someone(a female) up by embarrassing yourself only puts you further down the slippery hill of the friend zone. So stay away fellows, and don't have fake butt sex with your best friend just to make a girl you like happy... because that picture will one day be on the internet.     

I once had a different blog that sucked. However it did have some novel ideas on it. Here is something I thought of like 2 years ago that continues to perplex me: What if there was this one version of Armageddon where bruce Willis is eaten by an Alien right before he pushes the button that explodes the asteroid? And, there was only one copy of this ending to the movie. And, HBO owned the singular and only copy of that version of the movie. And, HBO only showed that version of the movie once. Now, let's say you had held off seeing Armageddon until it came out on HBO (for what reason, I don't know) and that you watched it at like 4 am on some night where literally no one else in the world was awake. You need to use your imagination a little to make that situation possible, but it happens OK? YOU are the only person in the entire world who sees that version of Armageddon. So obviously, the next day you walk up to your co-workers and say "Hey, I saw Armageddon last night...that is messed up what happens to Bruce Willis in the end." And all your co-workers say "Dude, you're an idiot. First of all, you should've seen it by now. Second of all, Bruce Willis totally saves the Earth, you jackass." And then you get all embarrassed after arguing with everyone you know for like 20 minutes about how the movie ends. So, you buy a bunch of Armageddon DVD's and start watching the ending over and over again, hoping to find the one that has the ending you need to see to prove to yourself that you are not crazy. But, HBO burned their copy of the movie right after you were the only one who saw it, so that ending doesn't even physically exist anymore.

So, do you think you would eventually go crazy and end up looking like Ben Stiller at the end of "Dodgeball," sitting around n the couch all day and eating buckets of chicken feeling sorry for yourself and always holding out hope that one day you will finally see the alternate ending to Armageddon once again? And, if not, what happens to you?