Alphabetical American Anarchy

Presenting a new series called ALPHABETICAL AMERICAN ANARCHY: Defending the Liberty of Things that Rule A-Z. (A column that highlights important topics in proper alphabetical order.)

There is something that we all share as Americans, and that is a country. Which brings us to our first big “A” word ~ Alliteration. My title has it. But also, American.

Within this country, I have found this blog, and it rings true with freedom. It rings true deep in the bowels of men. This man [see image] read the blog and couldn't finish reading after one post. That is because he is not a true American or a man.

The producers of BTP may have found one of the last free forums in the world - the merciless Internet blog. A place that can only exist in America. A place where no punches are pulled or words dressed in pretty pink polo shirts with Ed Hardy sequence patches. BTP has pulled back the skin to get on everyone's nerves. They don't go with "Pay to Play" politics like a certain Gov. Blagofenogavishit. Many animals were harmed in the making of this blog, because we are men. And protecting animals is ghey.

I also came across a list of the 25 "meanest" things ever said by men here. The most important being #11. "If you're going to spit at me, make sure you hit me in the face. Don't be wasting my time." —Dennis Rodman And Dennis makes an excellent point. Don't waste my fucking time. Unless I'm at work. Or waiting to transfer airplanes cause sometimes that shit takes forever.

In between watching the Celtics dominate every team and eating Tollhouse break-n-bake chocolate chip cookies, something clicked in my head - and it wasn't an arrow in my skull like this Chinese boy. It was the thought that there are still people out there like BTP who care enough to say what needs to be said. Whose keyboards move with animosity and vigor as if harnessing the energy of a Disturbed concert push-pit. They want us to believe in hope again, and not be pessimistic. The future doesn’t have to look like the Road Warrior. But still, if you try to siphon my gas tank, I will spike you.

In conclusion, this site reeks of patriotism. Take in the red beer, white tits, and blue poop. Because I believe again.

S. Coughlin